RANDOM BUT IMPORTANT THINGS I’VE LEARNED ABOUT BEING A MOM

By Gabriele Rienas

PSALM 127:3 - Children are a gift from the Lord;  they are a reward from him.

• TAKE CHARGE

• Be the leader
• Children will protest, but need the security
• Over-permissiveness is more harmful then over-rigidity – of course, balance is preferred

• ATTACH CONSEQUENCES TO ACTIONS

• This means allowing pain
• THE SOONER YOU DO THIS THE LESS THE IMPACT – behavioral consequences when you are 4 are much less drastic then when you are 18.
• Let natural causes take their course – eg.  If they lose something due to carelessness, let them live without that object, painful as the loss may be.
• Stay calm,  matter-of-fact and empathetic about the consequences – but stand firm!

• BE HUMBLE -  APOLOGIZE WHEN YOU ARE WRONG

• Acknowledge your mistake and ask forgiveness
• In a sincere but not overly emotional way, say, “I’m sorry.  I was wrong to…….  I will do better in the future.”
• If there was wrong behavior on both sides add, “You will still need to suffer the consequences for your behavior.  I’m sorry, but I can’t let you off the hook.”

• PRAY OUT LOUD WITH THEM

• Start this early and spontaneously
• You initiate this when they are young – “I’m sorry you’re hurting.  Let’s just pray right now.”
• Make it a natural thing to do – that way it won’t be awkward later on when they are older

• PICK YOUR BATTLES – 

• some things just don’t matter – really!
• their “unmatched” clothes, their room, style of music, the color of their back-pack…..
• gain perspective  about what is truly harmful and what is just personal preference – maintain OBJECTIVITY
• ask yourself – How much will this matter to their well-being 10 years from now?